Some people never quite understand their technology

 Article: 21668 of sci.geo.satellite-nav
 From: (Richard Mitchell)
 Newsgroups: sci.geo.satellite-nav
 Subject: I don't get it
 Date: Fri, 14 Jun 1996 21:23:50 EDT
 Sender: (Richard Mitchell)
 Message-ID: <4pt3b6$
 The other day I went out and got a GPS 38 (you know, Global
 Positioning System device).  Excited to use it, I went out into the
 middle of a field (I'm fully aware of the accuracy limitations
 with SA) and took a position point.  I waited until I had a good
 lock on 6 bars first.
 Then, I walked some distance away - at least a half of a mile.
 Making sure that I still had a good position fix, I then pressed
 the "GOTO" button and selected my point from the menu.  Not
 really sure what was going to happen next, in order to protect
 myself, I crept down to the ground and by standing on my feet,
 sort of turned into a human ball.  Then, with my right arm
 extended to the heavens holding the GPS, I clenched my eyes shut
 and pressed the "Enter" button.
 There was no flash of light.  No boom.  Not even a puff of smoke.
 I cautiously opened my eyes.  Can you believe it?  I hadn't even
 moved an inch, let alone be anywhere closer to the point I had
 Is my unit defective?  I traded my car for it and am now without
 transportation until I can get it working.  Will fresh batteries
 make any improvement?
  There are a number of possible reasons why you have been so
 disappointingly unsuccessful
 1       Due to a joint litigation from Messrs. Delta, American and
 Northwest,  Garmin was forced to block out this function in the 52
 2       You may be above average weight, excessively pregnant or were
 carrying oversize baggage. These issues receive scant coverage in the
 user manual. Have you ever asked a flight attendant for anything on
 any of the above carriers?
 3       Wearing rubber soled shoes can affect reliable operation as
 well as looking strange.
 4       This may be a problem specific to this particular model, users
 of the 90 etc. have had no similar occurrences and have been generally
 pleased with this mode. Maybe had you had a more expensive car
 originally you could have bought one with the added global features.
 5       Where you standing next to a large fixed object? Because of SA
 and local oscillator jitter it is possible that the object might have
 moved instead. There is a software trap to prevent this sort of thing
 from happening normally although one unfortunate owner inadvertently
 moved the entire London Bridge to some desert somewhere whilst on a
 visit over here. There are also known problems which affect such
 mundane household items such as blood stained gloves, knives, vases and large
 weapon shipments.
 There are probably lawyers specializing in this sort of thing now who
 will be able to divest you of all your remaining worldly belongings.
 Graham E Laucht
 Deepest England
 It's probably just fine.  Try going up in an aircraft, and get above
 the 18,000 mile vertical "dead-band" that's limiting you.
 Of course, don't go over 104 mph, lest you trigger the other Garmin
 feature and are subjected to "Poor GPS Coverage".
 -Steve :-)
 Richard: It is obvious that you should sue the supplier for every dime
 you can get.  And get a court order banning the use of the word GOTO in
 all users manuals.
 ht. I think you are missing the aluminum foil lined
 wingtip shoes. Give it a try.
 Have you ever tried .. saying  ENGAGE... or ENERGIZE...
 i know some people that have tried it and  have a lot of good
 experience with it!!!
 The software trap referred to by Graham Laucht also affects brothels.
 Some poor stiff (no pun intended) accidentally used his in La Grange, and
 now  that little whorehouse in Texas moved to Dallas and became a
 restaurant,  whereupon it promptly shut down (I think folks liked the
 previous menu better).
 Bill Stadelman
 You're trying to use your unit in the manual navigation mode!  You'll
 need to  walk, ride or fly to get back to that GOTO waypoint.  The
 "auto-nav transport"  mode is a little harder to use.  Get to the menu
 that has the following entry:
 Beam Me Up, Scotty!
 Highlight and then press ENTER.  On my Garmin 45 it is the same menu
 that has the  Enable Speed   90 Knots entry.  Of course you have to know
 the special key sequence to get to it and I can't remember it!  Can anyone
 help us out here?
 No apparently the GOTO feature has been disabled until Selective
 Availability has been turned off. Just imagine the embarrassment this
 could cause when  you want to go home at the end of the day and end
 up in your neighbor's bathroom (whilst occupied?).
 Anyway, for any software engineers watching, we all know that there is
 no level of hell deep enough for a programmer reckless enough to use the
 word GOTO!  Omygod!!!  I've just said it... <stops as three small demons
 materialize and drag myself into the pit of perdition pausing only
 enough to let me press the POST key on my newsreader  ...
 Are you using an atomic power source, or a potato battery?
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